I have just sent off my FOURTH request to have my sidesaddle accepted as my compensating aid for dressage, as detailed on my para-classification and as allowed under the FEI Compensating Aids regulations. This request has gone to someone different, the previous three were all to one person who has ignored them all. What really p%$# me off is in January this person circulated forms she wanted completed by all the para-riders in order for our compensating aids to be endorsed. I filled in the forms (my third request) and returned them by 20 January as she requested, and... nothing... she is still sitting on them!
This time I have written to the Chairperson of Dressage NZ, but I am thinking "why am I bothering?"
I went to a local dressage competition on sunday (I doped myself up on codeine before hand so I could get through it astride) and we had a disappointing time. I was warned that the judge for our afternoon test was tough. Well she wasn't just tough on us - I thought she was unnecessarily cruel. The judge made it pretty clear from her comments that she thought I was wasting her time, there wasn't a single positive comment or positive critque :(
On top of that, I have now been told by 3 different people that Molly & I are not "show quality" and that we won't get looked at if we show aside.
So I think it might be time to face reality and shelve our dreams of competing aside. I will still ride sidesaddle at home, fortunately no one can stop me in my own backyard! My rheumatologist has told me that given how severe the arthritis is, I shouldn't be as mobile as I am and she puts it down to the exercise I get from riding. So I will definately continue riding as my physical therapy.
I just feel defeated and there is no point in having a goal, that is just setting us up for failure or as the butt of jokes :(
I'm so sorry Anita. Judges that that really are doing the sport a dis-service. My fingers are still crossed that your fourth letter will get somewhere! Maybe this new person will see the light. Don't give up yet!
ReplyDeleteI would be really annoyed too. They can't even have the decency to reply?
Now wait a minute... you're going to stop doing something you WANT to do because some one ELSE told you to? Uh uh. Doesn't hold water. Failure in WHOSE eyes? The uppityup dressage princesses and cruel betterthanthous? Or the livethelifeyouwanttolive people? Because the only failures that haunt me are the ones where I let MYSELF down by sitting on the sidelines wishing and not trying.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you have Oak trees in New Zealand, but even the greatest Oak was once a tiny acorn who held it's ground.
Anita,
ReplyDeleteNo one, dressage judge or professional alike, has any business telling you that you are wasting your time or are not show quality! The point of dressage training is to improve the mental and physical aspects of the horse as well as the communication between the horse and rider, so the question is not "how good is this horse" but rather "how good is this horse compared to where she was a year ago?"
All horses can be improved, even if it's just to reach a lower level, and there is always something positive that a judge can point out if she makes the effort. The only horses I ever abandon or give up on are dangerous truely evil ones. No time that you spend with Molly is wasted!
I can't tell you how many times I've come out of the ring burning with shame or have tried to hold the tears back when I check my scores...Midas and I once scored a 48! If that doesn't put you off dressage I don't know what would. I took every bit of that score to heart and it sucked the very life out of me. I don't think it was a fair score, but it succeeded in crushing me. But we came back and managed a 4th level championship at our next show.
DON'T QUIT! DON'T QUIT! DON'T QUIT!
Refocus your efforts, compete again, and prove them all wrong!
Oh Sweetie.. I know how you feel. I have had a hard time posting the trot on my Saddlebreds sidesaddle.. and looked horrid .. I had one woman tell me that the judge almost dismissed me from a class. I cried for 2 days over that. People sometimes talk without regard to your feelings..
ReplyDeleteBut - I picked myself up by the bootstraps and started to ride aside again.. and am so thankful that I did. I have a better fitting saddle (better fitting to me - not the horse) and I just kept on learning.. I have a passion for this. I may never be a champion at it.. but I LOVE IT. That is what keeps driving me forward.
Down here we have local fun shows (2 a year) that I am going to start showing in for practice...and yes - I do plan to start showing in the breed shows again. Please don't let what someone else says stop you from doing something that brings you so much joy. I almost did and it would have been a huge mistake. You see - I know what I have accomplished and I don't need a blue ribbon or trophy to prove it.
Another thing - just the fact that I have encouraged other aside riders is the biggest reward I can imagine... and you do that for me.
I can't see this image on my work computer to be sure I have the right link, but please go to post #45 on this page http://trot.org/forum/showthread.php?t=5668&page=5
ReplyDeleteand see if it isn't the amazing transformation of a really plain looking little horse. Enough to inspire anyone to get back out and ride.
Thanks guys. I just feel like I have a huge up-hill battle and its hard to keep on smiling and keep going out there for a pounding. I also get very defensive about Molly, as I know what a fantastic little dressage pony is lurking under all that stubborness!
ReplyDeleteAlex thanks for that link - what an amazing story, it gave me a smile with the description of how the horse was "single-minded in giving his rider a hard time" :)
Autumn has also hit hard here this week, it is cold and wet and I think maybe we should take winter to just keep working quietly on relaxation (our biggest hurdle) and re-evaluate in spring.